Ramblings . . .

Today, while teaching a dance camp at our local studio-- I found out that there will be a "Tippy Two Toes" dance class! A class for two-year-olds???? I have an *almost* two-year-old that would looooooove to dance!!! At $60.00/month I'm not too sure about the cost, but I think this little chica needs to dance!!!

Well-- somehow, I have made it to 20 weeks (20 weeks and 2 days, actually) without documenting almost anything besides a camera phone snapshot of my belly at 15 weeks!!! So, just for my personal memory, I am going to post a few facts about this pregnancy;

It's been a while. I understand that nobody probably looks at this blog anymore except for the random spam comment I get every once in a while...but after some persuasion from the hubs and my sister, I have decided to take up blogging again. At least, for today.

Since I have decided to begin posting again, I think I will post about our breastfeeding journey.

Being a preemie, Haddie was taken promptly to the nursery for evaluation and then admitted into the NICU for closer observation. I did not have the chance to feel my brand new baby placed on my belly, I didn't have the chance for that first feed, letting her route around and find my breast herself, and I did not ever get to have her "room in" with me throughout my hospital stay. I held her once in our labor and delivery room for a moment, and then a brief moment before they admitted her into the NICU. Hubs was not able to hold her until her second day of life. After crying to the lactation consultant and the nurse practioner, I was finally able to attempt breastfeeding, even though the NICU staff acted like I was an idiot for wanting to try. They kept telling me that she could recieve formula and would be fine, but that isn't what I wanted. I called my sister, who also had a NICU baby 3 years prior, and she reassured me I was doing the right thing by fighting for the RIGHT to breastfeed, something that I shouldn't have had to do!

Needless to say, she didn't want to breastfeed. She was tired, had leads all over her, and unable to latch effectively. I knew that breastfeeding was something I wanted to do, no matter how hard it would be. I pumped and bottle fed for the first couple weeks, putting her to breast to almost no avail. We met with a WONDERFUL lactation consultant that was 100% sure we could get Haddie breastfeeding and thriving with some work. And magically, right around 4 weeks, she started breastfeeding, and by about 7 weeks old, she was no longer getting expressed breast milk. We finally hit our stride.

At this point, 7 months and counting, I can't imagine stopping. I am very fortunate to work at a job where I can feed Haddie on demand and I am very much looking forward to summer when she no longer has to spend any of her time in day care. I started her on solid foods around 6 months and she has enjoyed applesauce, bananas, avacados, sweet potatoes, peas, green beans, carrots, peaches, and she even liked the prunes she had to have when she was a little, eh hum, stopped up.

While our journey in breastfeeding wasn't the easiest road, I am so happy I stuck with it and I am proud of myself for being Haddie's sole source of nutrition for her first six months of life. There is no way I could have done it without the support of my lactation consultant, sister, and hubs with me every step of the way. Whenever I thought it was too much I always had someone that could encourage me I was doing the right thing. I know as a parent I won't do everything right, but I feel confident that I made the best decision with breastfeeding my sweet little baby.

So it looks like I haven't even finished posting my birth story. Yikes. I also now have a seven-month-old that pulls herself up to stand. Seriously, I just want to push on the brakes as hard as I can and slow life down!!!

So, before I forget-- This will most likely be the abridged version of the story.
We went to the hospital and I went to triage before being admitted. It didn't take much time at all to be admitted since my water had broken, but from the time I arrived in triage to the time I was placed in my labor and delivery room my cervix had dilated 4 1/2 cm. . . which was pretty major progress in about 30 minutes. Then, a nurse came in and let me know that if I wanted an epidural, I needed to get it quickly because I may pass the point of no return, so, even though I initially thought I wanted to do it au naturel-- I chickened out. And boy, oh boy, was that epidural AMAZING! I could finally relax! It was the first time I felt good in over a week. I kept dilating pretty steadily, until I was 8 1/2 cm. I got stuck. We decided to wait it out a little and a monitor was placed on Hadleigh's head to keep better track of her heart rate.

I was still "stuck" when they decided on giving me pitocin, much to my dismay, but it didn't seem to do the job. The on call doctor was ready to give me a c-section, but luckily he had to do an emergency one so that gave me 45 more minutes to dilate to 10! By the time he came back in to check on me, it was about 10 minutes before my OB was in the hospital to do rounds. He told me I could hang on and wait for him. This was 7am...mind you, on call dr. said he would have already taken me to have a c-section. I was relieved when MY doctor showed up at the door, he is very calm and would never pressure anyone into anything that wasn't absolutely necessary. He said as long as her heart rate wasn't dropping and I wasn't developing a fever, I could keep her in and try to deliver vaginally. FINALLY, at about 10:40am I was ready to push. I pushed a few times, and I refused to take a break even though the nurse kept asking me if I wanted to "sit out a contraction" NO WAY- at that point, I wanted my baby OUT OF ME! At 11:03am my sweet little baby was welcomed into the world.

She looked perfect, but sounded like a goat when she breathed. I can laugh about it now, but at the time it was pretty scary. She ended up being admitted into the NICU for further care. That was hard, I don't think I was emotionally prepared for that. She didn't get a chance to breastfeed until she was almost 2 days old and she never got to stay in the room with me. Her breathing problem cleared up on its own and she had the "all clear" on Wednesday around noon, we were discharged together around 6pm. Talk about scary, but that is another post entirely.

Let's see here, I wanted to document my birth story so just FYI-- this may not be for the faint of heart...I am SURE this contains WAY too much information for the general public!!!

Well...sweet little Haddie-Girl came 4 WEEKS EARLY!!!Photo by Emily Porter

How life gets in the way of blogging.

I'm not quite sure where to begin since it has been so long, so I'll give a brief recap of the past few days.

I am on bed rest. Boo. It all started when I was leaving work on Wednesday and felt a little dizzy. Being the supportive hubs that I have, he suggested I stop by my OB's office in case it happened to be high blood pressure. Well, my Dr. wasn't there because he was in surgeries all day so some of the nurses that work for him made me go ahead up to triage because it would be possible for me to have more tests done way more quickly there than what they could do in his office. By the way, at this point of the day my legs were so swollen they resembled tree trunks more than actual legs. Boo again. So I get to triage, they put a fetal monitor on the baby and a contraction monitor onto me and of course the baby is perfect, me-- not so much.

My Dr. ended up keeping me over night for a 24-hour urinalysis to check for preeclampsia and to watch my swelling. After 24 hours, and an additional 3 hours for the results to come back in I was discharged to strict bed rest, meaning I can only get out of bed to go to the bathroom and or to go to my Dr.'s appointments. When meeting with my Dr. throughout this experience, he informed me (from my ultrasound) that sweet little Haddie girl is already 7lbs11oz so if I don't deliver her soon (i.e. before 37 weeks) she will not be able to be delivered vaginally and therefore I must have a c-section which I hope to avoid at ALL COSTS.

So, here I am, writing from my recliner and trying to talk this little baby into coming into the world on Tuesday because that would work with every one's schedule, including my Dr.'s--haha...so now it is just a waiting game.

PS- from the ultrasound, this little chunk in my belly has the chubbiest cheeks and the pouty-est lips...I am so in love!

Well, I haven't posted in a very long time YET again...I promised myself I wouldn't do this, but here I am again. Once again I am going to post a brief recap of what has been going on since my last post.

1. I am huge. No two ways about it, everybody says I look like I am "going to pop" even though I keep assuring them I have about 7 1/2 weeks left.

2. I left my job at a year round school to pursue a career in half-day head start. I am very much looking forward to this job, but I don't get students until September 1.

3. I am taking a huuuuuuuge pay cut to be able to stay at home with Haddie for half the day, something that I think is totally worth it, even if I did shed more than 5,287,362 tears over it.

4. My sister is going back to work tomorrow (2 days a week) for the first time since her oldest was born and I am pretty sure my mom and I may feel almost as nervous as her.

5. I will be keeping one of my nephews in the afternoons while my sister is at said job, even though I will be 7-8-9 months pregnant and then on maternity leave, I would have it no other way. I would keep him (and the older one too!) all day every day if it meant somebody they knew would be with them, but things don't work out that way so 1/2 day will be good enough until the little one gets potty-trained!

6. I am slowly beginning to realize I am terrified about giving birth so I have been avoiding the topic at all costs.

7. I am hoping *at all costs* that I will go full term with this baby. I keep reminding her that 37 weeks is ok with me, but I really don't want her to come out before that unless she ABSOLUTELY has to. My oldest nephew was 7 weeks early and luckily he was healthy as a horse, but still had to stay in the NICU for a week...I really don't want to have to go through that.

8. I just want a healthy baby. Whenever she gets here, however she gets here, as long as she is safe and happy!

9. I am beginning to feel "first-trimester sleepy" again so goodnight all.

ps- I will try to post a "belly pic" soon so you can see just how huge I am getting!!!

1. I am still alive and well.