Ramblings . . .

Since I have decided to begin posting again, I think I will post about our breastfeeding journey.

Being a preemie, Haddie was taken promptly to the nursery for evaluation and then admitted into the NICU for closer observation. I did not have the chance to feel my brand new baby placed on my belly, I didn't have the chance for that first feed, letting her route around and find my breast herself, and I did not ever get to have her "room in" with me throughout my hospital stay. I held her once in our labor and delivery room for a moment, and then a brief moment before they admitted her into the NICU. Hubs was not able to hold her until her second day of life. After crying to the lactation consultant and the nurse practioner, I was finally able to attempt breastfeeding, even though the NICU staff acted like I was an idiot for wanting to try. They kept telling me that she could recieve formula and would be fine, but that isn't what I wanted. I called my sister, who also had a NICU baby 3 years prior, and she reassured me I was doing the right thing by fighting for the RIGHT to breastfeed, something that I shouldn't have had to do!

Needless to say, she didn't want to breastfeed. She was tired, had leads all over her, and unable to latch effectively. I knew that breastfeeding was something I wanted to do, no matter how hard it would be. I pumped and bottle fed for the first couple weeks, putting her to breast to almost no avail. We met with a WONDERFUL lactation consultant that was 100% sure we could get Haddie breastfeeding and thriving with some work. And magically, right around 4 weeks, she started breastfeeding, and by about 7 weeks old, she was no longer getting expressed breast milk. We finally hit our stride.

At this point, 7 months and counting, I can't imagine stopping. I am very fortunate to work at a job where I can feed Haddie on demand and I am very much looking forward to summer when she no longer has to spend any of her time in day care. I started her on solid foods around 6 months and she has enjoyed applesauce, bananas, avacados, sweet potatoes, peas, green beans, carrots, peaches, and she even liked the prunes she had to have when she was a little, eh hum, stopped up.

While our journey in breastfeeding wasn't the easiest road, I am so happy I stuck with it and I am proud of myself for being Haddie's sole source of nutrition for her first six months of life. There is no way I could have done it without the support of my lactation consultant, sister, and hubs with me every step of the way. Whenever I thought it was too much I always had someone that could encourage me I was doing the right thing. I know as a parent I won't do everything right, but I feel confident that I made the best decision with breastfeeding my sweet little baby.

So it looks like I haven't even finished posting my birth story. Yikes. I also now have a seven-month-old that pulls herself up to stand. Seriously, I just want to push on the brakes as hard as I can and slow life down!!!

So, before I forget-- This will most likely be the abridged version of the story.
We went to the hospital and I went to triage before being admitted. It didn't take much time at all to be admitted since my water had broken, but from the time I arrived in triage to the time I was placed in my labor and delivery room my cervix had dilated 4 1/2 cm. . . which was pretty major progress in about 30 minutes. Then, a nurse came in and let me know that if I wanted an epidural, I needed to get it quickly because I may pass the point of no return, so, even though I initially thought I wanted to do it au naturel-- I chickened out. And boy, oh boy, was that epidural AMAZING! I could finally relax! It was the first time I felt good in over a week. I kept dilating pretty steadily, until I was 8 1/2 cm. I got stuck. We decided to wait it out a little and a monitor was placed on Hadleigh's head to keep better track of her heart rate.

I was still "stuck" when they decided on giving me pitocin, much to my dismay, but it didn't seem to do the job. The on call doctor was ready to give me a c-section, but luckily he had to do an emergency one so that gave me 45 more minutes to dilate to 10! By the time he came back in to check on me, it was about 10 minutes before my OB was in the hospital to do rounds. He told me I could hang on and wait for him. This was 7am...mind you, on call dr. said he would have already taken me to have a c-section. I was relieved when MY doctor showed up at the door, he is very calm and would never pressure anyone into anything that wasn't absolutely necessary. He said as long as her heart rate wasn't dropping and I wasn't developing a fever, I could keep her in and try to deliver vaginally. FINALLY, at about 10:40am I was ready to push. I pushed a few times, and I refused to take a break even though the nurse kept asking me if I wanted to "sit out a contraction" NO WAY- at that point, I wanted my baby OUT OF ME! At 11:03am my sweet little baby was welcomed into the world.

She looked perfect, but sounded like a goat when she breathed. I can laugh about it now, but at the time it was pretty scary. She ended up being admitted into the NICU for further care. That was hard, I don't think I was emotionally prepared for that. She didn't get a chance to breastfeed until she was almost 2 days old and she never got to stay in the room with me. Her breathing problem cleared up on its own and she had the "all clear" on Wednesday around noon, we were discharged together around 6pm. Talk about scary, but that is another post entirely.